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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583657">Just Like You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryinspiration/pseuds/imaginaryinspiration'>imaginaryinspiration</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>looking into the eyes of a megalomaniac [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun &amp; Moon | Pokemon Sun &amp; Moon Versions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aura (Pokemon), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Papa Kukui, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum Has Aura Powers, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:29:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryinspiration/pseuds/imaginaryinspiration</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d let down his guard, finally wanted to trust someone with this, because it was getting too much. He was usually fine with it, but everything had been building up and bothering him more and more for a while now. Everything reminded him of it; Lusamine’s eyes— green, not gray, but still— and that fiery, icy, hot and cold gaze they held, the same instability they held, when they looked into his eyes, they were the same. Her sickly-sweet voice, her interest in Nebby, they were the same. And when he looked into Burnet’s green-gray eyes, even when they were kind, loving, looking on him, it didn’t help that in the darkness they looked the same as hers. The way they all looked at him when he met Tapu Koko immediately after he getting there, and the weird look in their eyes when he pulled off his super-powered Z-move. It was all too much and all too similar to her. To him.</p><p>In other words, Ash is Not Having a Good Time™ and in an impulsive decision blocks Kukui and runs away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui &amp; Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum &amp; Satoshi no Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>looking into the eyes of a megalomaniac [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Like You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This takes place during chapter 2 of Casuistry, but you don't need to read that to understand this! Just to give you an idea of the timeline.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was running through the dark, trying to ignore the tears on his face and how the humidity and the slight night chill made them feel cold and wet on his cheeks. He ignored the calls behind him, ignored how his feet were sinking in the sand, the crashing of the waves on the shore, and he ignored how the yelling stopped pretty quickly (too quickly?)</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was so <em>stupid! </em>He tried to keep his breathing under control and the one thing he could focus on was Pikachu calling his name right behind him, trying to catch up enough to hop on his shoulder. Ash didn’t stop, but he slowed, shortly, just enough so that he could feel the warm yellow fur on his cheeks, soaking up some of the tears. He’d let down his guard, finally wanted to trust <em>someone </em>with this, because it was getting too much. He was <em>usually </em>fine with it, but everything had been building up and bothering him more and more for a while now. Everything reminded him of it; Lusamine’s eyes— green, not gray, but still— and that fiery, icy, hot and cold gaze they held, the same <em>instability </em>they held, when they looked into his eyes, they were the <em>same. </em>Her sickly-sweet voice, her <em>interest </em>in Nebby, they were the <em>same. </em>And when he looked into Burnet’s green-gray eyes, even when they were kind, loving, looking on him, it didn’t help that in the darkness they looked the same as hers. The way they all <em>looked </em>at him when he met Tapu Koko immediately after he getting there, and the weird look in their eyes when he pulled off his super-powered Z-move. It was all <em>too much </em>and all too similar to <em>her. </em>To <em>him.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d been fine, he’d been over it (mostly) until Kalos. Kalos was all fine, <em>it was great, </em>until the very end, and he’d seen the same <em>obsession</em>, the same insanity, greed, and predatory gaze in the eyes of Lysandre. Ever since then, when he was sought out <em>again, </em>and it was so eerily goddamn similar to Hunter J, he couldn’t get the memories out of his head. They kept resurfacing, no matter how much he pushed them down, tried to reason them away, tried to focus on Pikachu and where he was <em>now, </em>with the soft warm sand and the cool waves and the sun, but it was so <em>hard </em>because the energy of Alola was so strong and it pulled out of him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d been ignoring aura since Lysandre. He didn’t want to mess with it after the Mega Evolution Energy beam. It had <em>done </em>something to him, changing it, and it made him too afraid to even try. If he did, Ash felt like he would be too powerful. He’d gone through training with Riolu, sure, and he’d been able to wield it powerfully, and he’d practiced control, but there was something about that red energy (that had felt so similar to that time in the forest where he was sure he was going to die, for real that time) that burned like fire that had made the energy in him volatile, fiercer.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It <em>scared </em>him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And everything was becoming too much, now, so he needed someone to confide in, and Kukui had been so <em>supportive, </em>so caring, so much like a family, like a <em>parent, </em>that he’d grown to trust him with information he hadn’t told anyone since Brock and Dawn and Kellyn. Kukui was cooking dinner, and he could tell Ash was anxious, so he’d been prodding, and finally the dam broke and Ash had just <em>talked, </em>and he’d told him everything. He’d told him about the first time, with aura, with Lucario, and then Hunter J— that first time, in the ship, Staravia’s claws digging into his skin, how much they hurt. He’d told Kukui about the Pokemon Center, about Kellyn, about his friends, and training his aura for the first time and realizing that it was safe, and warm, and so entirely <em>Ash. </em>And then how he’d been captured <em>again, </em>how they’d gotten Riolu.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash told Kukui about Hunter J’s ship. He told him about how <em>scary </em>she was, how terrifyingly satisfied she was to have him aboard, how she took pleasure in his pain, how much he’d wanted to <em>punch </em>her, how angry he’d gotten, the Pokemon battle and being forced to hold up aura shields and shoot spheres and attack and ignore the poison seeping into his veins and how much everything had <em>hurt. </em>He told Kukui about how much he’d longed for safety. He <em>told </em>him punching her in the face and <em>liking </em>the crunch under his fist, about being helpless, carried away, and then shooting out a wave that <em>fried </em>everything it touched, and how he fought J in the forest, how she’d <em>forced </em>him to put up the shield, how he was sure he was going to die (he neglected to mention he’d died before. He wasn’t <em>quite </em>ready to open that can of Wurmples). The absolute <em>desire </em>in her eyes, how she’d burned the forest down and almost burned him, and how she’d gone insane for his power, willing to murder. How much that still bothered him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Going to the hospital. It still crawled under his skin how <em>helpless </em>she had made him, how dissociated and detached from the world he’d become.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Kukui had a chance to say anything, he told him more about aura, and about <em>Lysandre. </em>About the Kalos Crisis, and how the wounds were still <em>very </em>fresh, and how much it reminded him of Hunter J, and how Lysandre was the absolute same fucking level of insane that J was, and how Lysandre’s eyes held that same terrible, terrible gaze. How Ash had been up on that tower, and the bindings there felt the same as Drapion’s claws, and how if he’d just been close enough, Ash would have <em>spit </em>in Lysandre’s face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">About how much the Mega Evolution Energy hurt.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">(He didn’t tell him about Chosen Ones. That was for another day entirely, if ever.)</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Kukui, to his credit, had responded remarkably well. The first thing he’d done was comfort Ash, and they’d talked more, and Kukui had thanked him for trusting him, and Ash had felt so <em>validated </em>and comforted that it seemed everything was going to be okay.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But then Kukui had asked more about aura and the Bond Phenomenon. Did they relate?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That set Ash on edge, but he’d explained some anyways. It was just the Professor, right? It was fine.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But, then. In an unguarded moment, Professor Kukui, like the scientist he was, leaned forward to Ash, putting his hands on his shoulders, and looked him straight in the eyes as he said “<em>Fascinating.”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There hadn’t been the same look in his eyes. There really hadn’t. Kukui was not unhinged and he was not evil. He was a good man. But it didn’t change the fact that the <em>word choice </em>and the way his voice sounded were <em>exactly the same </em>as hers, as his. He’d put his hands on his shoulders like Lysandre had. And it didn’t change the fact that those things combined together to make Ash <em>see </em>the same look in his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash flinched back so violently that Kukui immediately snapped out of it and looked at Ash with concern, reaching towards him, a questioning gaze in his eyes and an apology on his lips, but it was too late. Ash was already to the door, forgetting everything else and just running. Ash was <em>rare, </em>he had to get away before Kukui could gain his bearings, before he could come after him, before anything. He didn’t grab his shoes, he didn’t wait for Pikachu, and Ash didn’t even have a conscious thought until he was far away enough from the house that Kukui stopped calling for him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It wasn’t until he’d been running for a good 10 minutes when he slowed down. He had his phone on him, he realized when he checked his pockets and leaned down to catch his breath. There were a couple missed calls from Kukui. Pikachu chirped worriedly on his shoulder. Determinedly, Ash swiped past the lock screen and pulled up Kukui’s contact, hitting the red button that said “Block”.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shut it off and laid on the sand, sighing and trying to stop the tears that were still flowing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t safe back home anymore, and even though he’d never expected Kukui to turn, Ash should have been smarter. He <em>knew </em>the knowledge of aura brought out the true colors of those who wished to possess it. He was never supposed to tell anyone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t know how long he laid there, numbly, on the beach, listening to the waves, sand in his hair. Pikachu was settled on his chest, looking into his eyes sympathetically. He’d given up reassuring his partner awhile ago, realizing that when Ash got like this, it was better to just <em>be there.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally, he sat up. He didn’t know what time it was but he didn’t care. He would be okay. He’d lived on his own without a bed to sleep in for 6 years on the road. But after that…</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tomorrow was a school day. He couldn’t just drop out— he actually <em>liked </em>school, and his friends. But…<em>Professor Kukui </em>would be there. Ash knew, logically, that the Professor was not, and would never be, like Hunter J or Lysandre.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Logic was not at the forefront of his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pikachu suggested he go to Team Rocket. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“…Those guys? Why would I…?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It would be good for him. They should talk about everything. Team Rocket would know. They’d seen Ash grow up before their eyes and, other than Pikachu, they were the most constant thing in Ash’s life since the beginning. They were almost always there when it <em>really </em>mattered, and he could depend on them no matter what.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They’d found out about Hunter J, somehow.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So Ash got to his feet, and, just a little blearily, began the walk there. It was second nature— he didn’t even have to think about where he was going before he found himself staring into the tired eyes of James.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Twerp? What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No customer service voice— he knew there was something off about Ash. He wasn’t there for a quick treat. He took a shaky breath in and tried not to cry, and at that the man’s eyes widened and he called for his friends. “Jessie! Meowth! Something we need to deal with!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There were no questions asked. He put his hands on his shoulders and guided him to where he could sit down and look each of them in the eyes. In these moments, Ash didn’t care that they’d stalked him for most of his adolescent life. In fact, he was grateful for it. They were the ones he could come to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After they’d gotten him settled and Jessie had rolled her eyes (fondly) about how stupid he looked, with his hair all messed up and his eyes red and they’d come to a truce about leaving Pikachu alone (their eyes still lingered on the electric mouse), Jessie turned to him and said “Spill. Why’d you come to us? Must be pretty serious, if you’re not going with your little pretend daddy.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At that, he tensed. It didn’t go unnoticed.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh oh. Your little daddy issues getting in the way of the Professor?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, that wasn’t—!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…It might be part of it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I—! I told him about <em>Hunter J </em>and <em>Lysandre.”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was stunned silence. Team Rocket knew the Twerp hated talking about that stuff. His policy was all “Keep moving forward” and “Focus on the here and now.” He was the “Never give up until it’s over” kid.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And, I! He <em>understood, </em>and he was kind, but then, he got so fascinated by aura, and by Greninja, and he just— he was just like Lysandre. He was just like Hunter J. Like Cyrus. I’m afraid Lusamine is going to be like that too! I just— I ran. I blocked him. I don’t want to go back.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pikachu cooed sadly from his lap, rubbing his cheeks against Ash’s chest, trying to comfort him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Twerp, you <em>what?”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He snapped his head to look up at Jessie, startled by the ferocity in her voice. “Twerp, I understand that you are a fucked up kid- we’re fucked up by everything that happened too, but it always follows you. But you are <em>not </em>the twerp who runs away from a conflict— you stand strong and fight! If you’d ever ran away, we would’ve actually <em>gotten </em>Pikachu by now! You spit in the face of adversity!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James joined in, although the entire time she’d been yelling, he’d been trying to calm her down. “Twerp, she’s right. What was that thing the little twerpette always said in Kalos quoting you? ‘Never give up ’til it’s over?’ And besides, I think you might’ve gotten something twisted. Your new ‘daddy’ is one of the best things to ever happen to you— we can see that, Twerp. You’ve always been a lot sadder after Tall Twerp left, and here you’re finally loosening up.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Meowth chimed in. “You know Twerp, I think this might be more about your issues with the Boss, and how you’ve got a fucked up relationship with <em>him.”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash clenched his fingers in Pikachu’s fur. Was Meowth <em>trying </em>to provoke him?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, Meowth, sure, maybe it’s a <em>little </em>bit about that, but you’re not helping here! I don’t want to go back to the Professor! I know that he’s been sort of a replacement dad for me, and that’s why I trusted him, but it was a <em>mistake!”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pikachu was picking up on Ash’s rising irritation and anger and his cheeks started sparking as a warning. Team Rocket fell silent, well too aware of how much Pikachu’s shock could hurt, <em>especially </em>when they angered his trainer. Jessie softened. “Look, Twerp. Clearly the Crisis triggered some sort of relapse for you. It was too similar to Hunter J, right? Here is where you need support more than ever. You told him about everything, and he was supportive, right? It sounds to me like you were <em>waiting</em> for him to mess up, that you were expecting him to mess up, and so you took the reaction he had to your aura and ran with it. That sound about right?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t want to admit it, but she could see through him better than he could himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t want to trust him— and your daddy issues don’t want you to trust him, so you’re using this as an excuse to leave, because running away is easier than dealing with your issues. <em>We can all see that you don’t deal with your issues, Twerp. </em>You forget how long we’ve known you. Because even though leaving would hurt, you’re even more afraid of confronting everything that’s happened and actually dealing with it in a healthy way. None of us are healthy, kid, but you’re young, and you’ve got time to fix your fucked up coping skills. <em>Not </em>saying that I am old! But you’re a child. Does this sound familiar?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yikes. He hadn’t realized.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Meowth took over. “We can all see it kid. Jimmy-boy here said it before, but your daddy is the best thing to ever happen to you. Running away is not the right solution, and it’s just going to send you into another spiral. We all know that you’re gonna get into some shit sometime soon, and you’re gonna need him then. So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna <em>unblock </em>him— you’re crazy, Twerp, about that, you <em>realize </em>he’s just gonna get more worried, right?— and you’re gonna go back and have another <em>talk, </em>and you’re gonna stop bothering us, okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">James was quick to jump in. “You can stay the night with us, though, if you need to, <em>right, guys?”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was some response of indignation when he elbowed the both of them, but they all agreed anyways. Pikachu smirked. He knew that Team Rocket was going to have his best friend’s back. When nightmares hit him extra hard in Unova and he didn’t have anyone to turn to, there were a couple times when he’d found confidence in the three Rockets he’d met so long ago, and there was always an unspoken truce in that time where they wouldn’t try to steal Pikachu and Ash wouldn’t order his partner to shock them. In the same manner, they’d come to him occasionally in the middle of the night, when they were out of food, and he would give them what they needed. When his friends inquired about the dent in their food the next day, he’d excuse it as him being extra hungry.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash was grateful— but he wasn’t going to say so. Neither would the Rockets be any more earnest with him. Maybe it wasn’t normal, but there was nothing about them that was normal. A fucked up boy coming to find solace with a group of criminals who had been stalking and trying to steal from him for 6 years wasn’t normal, and so nothing else about their interactions would be normal, either. And the next time they saw each other, they’d be filled with so much animosity that moments like these would be forgotten (almost).</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So he found himself laying down a little bit away from the rest of them, trying to ignore their loud snoring and holding Pikachu tight. He looked at Kukui’s contact on his phone, but he didn’t unblock him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">…He’d do it in the morning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Morning came and found him more anxious than he was before. What if Kukui didn’t even want him back? What if he was angry, disappointed? What if he <em>wasn’t? </em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No matter how reluctant he was to leave, though, Jessie and Meowth were kicking him out and they all needed to open their business for the day, so he was forced to go anyways. With each step closer to the house on the beach, his hands grew shakier and his breath quickened. Pikachu cooed in his ears, rubbing their cheeks together, and Ash laughed a little bit at the static on his skin, before trailing off as he realized where he was. The house was <em>right there, </em>and so he took a deep breath and walked up to the front door.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash had been hoping that Kukui maybe would’ve gone off to school for the day, but he had no such luck. As soon as he walked in, he was bombarded with a shocked yelp and then the anxious eyes of the man who treated him like a son. He opened his arms and stepped forward, but then pulled back, hesitant. Ash didn’t go in for the hug either, not yet, so they both stood there a little awkwardly before Kukui started. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ash, I! I’m sorry, I didn’t—! I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry, keiki.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. Ash was going to have to be honest with his feelings, which was not something he was up for after getting barely any sleep through Team Rocket’s snoring. Pikachu chirped his name, though, after a minute, and he realized he’d been unresponsive for a moment too long. “I’m sorry, Professor, I shouldn’t have— I freaked out. I…need to talk to you about some things.” He admitted, feeling defeated.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was <em>something </em>in Kukui’s eyes, that he couldn’t entirely place. Something so tender, though, and patient and genuine and so full of worry and care that Ash wondered how he could have ever confused this man’s eyes with the hungry gaze of Lysandre. So he pushed past his stupid insecurities and reached forward to hug the man like he’d done so many times, and it was big and warm and made him feel a million times better. He was okay.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he knew it, he was crying, and Kukui was rubbing his back, and neither of them were letting go. “I’m <em>sorry, </em>I’m sorry for running away, I’m sorry for blocking you, I’m sorry for leaving you in the dark and not coming back. I shouldn’t have, I was scared, and I didn’t realize, and it was just so sudden!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At the Professor’s gentle reassurance that he was okay, and that it was okay, he continued. “I went to Team Rocket and talked to them. I’m sorry about running away last night. I told you everything, and just the way you looked, for a second there, you looked just like <em>him </em>and <em>her </em>and I’m so sorry! I know you’re not, you’re good and kind and I love you and I know you love me…?” His voice went up at the end, questioning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of <em>course </em>I love you keiki. I’m so <em>sorry…”</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not all…I’ve haven’t told anyone about that for a long time, but it’s been so <em>bad </em>after Kalos, and I trust you, and it was me and my stupid issues. I just…I think of you like my- like my <em>dad </em>and my real dad is a <em>dick </em>and I <em>hate </em>him, and I’m scared of trusting someone like that again, and I realized that I was just <em>waiting </em>for you to do something wrong, so I ran and took that as confirmation that I shouldn’t trust anyone, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t, and you’re the <em>best </em>dad I’ve ever had. You’re kind, and supportive, and you’re a <em>good </em>teacher, and you care so much, and I have so much fun with you. You make me laugh and I love spending time with you. <em>Please </em>forgive me!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a moment of silence when Ash cried harder and Kukui cried harder and clung to Ash as tight as he could. “…Ash, I…you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, kid. You’re amazing and so, so, impressive, and you make me so happy. You’ve been like a son to me almost as soon as you walked through that door, and I tried to deny it, but I love you, keiki. You’re okay. You don’t have to apologize— you’re <em>perfectly valid </em>in feeling like that and I’m there for you no matter what, even if you run away and even if you,” he choked up, “if you block me. I’ll <em>always </em>be there for you kiddo, no matter what. That’s what ‘Ohana means. We’re family, Ash. You and me and Burnet.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ash cried more, then, and he cried for awhile after that. He never wanted to let go.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He did, eventually, after Pikachu got uncomfortable and wriggled against his side. He was probably hungry. He hadn’t had time to finish eating his dinner last night and he hadn’t eaten breakfast. Neither had Ash.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Want some breakfast, Ash? Let’s have something special! What do you want? I’ll make anything.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can we have pancakes? I feel like it’s been forever! Oh, and get some ketchup out for Pikachu.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was companionable silence, and Ash pulled out his phone. This time, there was no hesitation when he unblocked his <em>dad. </em>He smiled thinking of that word.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Professor?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, Ash?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know if I’ll ever be a dad, like you, or a teacher, but if I ever do become one, I hope that I’m just like you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was just listening to this song and then came up with this idea. Comment telling me what you think! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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